The great thing about the Internet is that you can get connected to just about everyone these days. Well this afternoon, my old friend Nick called me via his new SIP connection. It seems the new 100 meg fiber line to his winter abode has finally been connected, giving him even faster access. That means the wants and desires of so many of our world's less mature types will now be received and read faster.
Well, before we spoke, I had to make sure the usual claus of non disclosure was not in effect for holiday consulting, as it is always in the spirit of good cheer, good tidings and good wishes. This saint of a man said "of course," and he then quickly shared some of the requests he's received this year from the venture capitalists, investors and directors of many of our world's leading technology companies.
He also said he'd be dashing off in the snow a few days early this year to keep his schedule in tact....as it seems some of the requests seem to be kind of demanding......
For Google he revealed they've asked for more ads. It seems they're not done yet with buying, and they need more clicks to drive the cash. As if Google needs any more "yelp" I replied. Oh, I meant help. He promised to do his part to save the trees, by seeing what newspapers could be closed, where broadband could be enabled and to lower the price of mobile phones to under 100 with Android for all good people of the earth. With that triple play, he mused, he figured they could continue to stay ahead of dear bada Bing.
For Cisco they asked for more sales of more of the same. My reply, does Cisco ever do anything that doesn't sell more routers and switches? He promised that their holiday stocking would be full of orders of increased demand, especially from some folks in Dallas and Atlanta who it seems have been wishing and praying for more of that as well.
When we got to AT&T it became hard to hear. Every time he said their name the signal got flakey. To him it sounded like I had been visiting the bar, but in many more places. We decided that their wish this year was for some much needed bandwidth along with backhaul, but most of all the big request from them this year had to be for graduates from a leading university that teaches both advertising and the law, as they seem to not have any of those already. He said something about stopping off at Northwestern...on his way to the South as they seem to have a few of those this year.
For Verizon the request was for updated GPS devices. With all those maps they keep using, someone figures eventually their execs will get lost and end up in the new AT&T HQ not the old one that is now their HQ.
From Skype he revealed was the requests was for new faces in management. With some recent giant size departures and new investors its time for some new blood in new roles and some troops to be shaken up.
From Apple the request was an easy one. It was for simply, more Jobs.
At that point my friend Nick said he had to feed the deer. He been keen to reduce the gas, and he's been using the new low carbon emission feed. What's more he told me that his suit's color this year may again be red, but his donning a green cap and his guide deer Rudy will have a green light.
And with that we said, to all, a good night.